Growing up is part of life, and it is something that you cannot avoid. It means that being an adult is indispensable as well as caring for an old parent. Whether you like it or not, everyone expects you to be there for your senior parents when they grow old. You cannot escape this responsibility. It is only right that you make an effort to help them enjoy a good life after retirement. According to Carol Bradley Bursack, “Regardless of who moves in with whom, the decision to cohabitate with aging parents is a serious one that affects all relationships within a family, careers, finances, and the physical and mental health of everyone involved.”
If you are thinking of asking a senior mom or dad to live at your house, make sure that you are knowledgeable of these things before asking them to move in:
Consent Of Spouse
Keep in mind that the decision is not yours to make. It is essential to consult your partner about your interest in asking your parents to stay at your residence. This kind of living arrangement has some implications and challenges, which is why you have to get the consent of your partner first. Just be ready to explain the reasons why you want your senior parent to stay with your new family.
Preference Of The Parent
Another thing that you have to consider is the preference of your parents. Of course, if he wants to live on his own or with other people, there is nothing that you can do about it. The best alternative is to let him choose for himself. Trust him that he knows what he is doing. On the other hand, if you think and believe that your parent is making a big mistake, try to talk him out of such a decision. Be sure to do it respectfully or politely.
When your senior mom or dad moves in, expect your expenses to increase. You need a higher budget for paying utility bills as well as buying some grocery items. You may also need to set aside some cash for medications. Therefore, it is essential that your family is financially ready for this kind of change. However, it does not mean that just because you have no money, you can already deny a suitable living arrangement with your parents. The smart thing to do is to find a way to solve your financial woes.
Is there someone at your house who can look at your senior parent? Remember that you go to work every single day. There is a high probability that your husband is also out as well as your kids. “Recognize what your limitations are and where you need outside help,” said Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. You create a situation wherein your old mom or dad is the only one at home. Unfortunately, this is quite dangerous for various reasons. Because of this, it is highly recommended that you arrange for senior care ahead of time. If the budget is tight, try to create rotating schedules that will allow your children to care for their grandparents.
Asking a senior parent to move into your residence is a big decision to make. Steven Zarit‘s advice to the adult child: “Do not pick arguments. Do not make a parent feel defensive. Plant an idea, step back, and bring it up later. Be patient.” Do not decide without checking the advantages and disadvantages. Moreover, factor in the items listed above when making the final choice.