Effective Communication Tips To Aging Parents

One of the inevitable things that you will eventually face in life is dealing with aging parents or those who are already in their senior years. Whether you like it or not, it is your responsibility to connect with them because they are the reasons why you are in this world. Take note that your family will never exist were it not for your loving mother and father. Now that they are already in their old age, it is time to repay them for all the sacrifices that they have made to help you succeed.

 

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Unfortunately, adult children and senior parents get into fights and misunderstandings because of poor communication. “So it’s important to take a deep breath before having a conversation about a sensitive topic and recognize the feelings that you have about the issue,” according to Dr. Amy D’Aprix. For this reason, we have decided to dedicate our next article on the site to talk about effective communication tips that one can use in dealing with an aging parent. Here are some of the things that you can do:

 

Show Empathy

 

According to Christina Steinorth, MFT, a psychotherapist, “Aging is a series of losses — loss of employment, health and energy, friends, mobility, and independence.” Consider how you’d feel if you were in their situation.” Remember that the circumstances for you and that of a senior parent are different from each other. You cannot expect him to be the same individual that he was ten or twenty years ago. Remind yourself that everything is changing in his life and it can be scary. He may not show it, but your parent is probably thinking of how old he is already.

 

Together with it is the thought that he is no longer as strong and great as he is in the past. For this reason, you have to increase your empathy around him. Imagine being in his shoes so that you can become a more understanding child.

 

Talk Everyday

 

Now that you have understood the significance of empathy, the next thing that you have to remember is to let your senior parent know that you are more than willing to converse with him. Never make the mistake of showing him that you are too busy at work or in business. Otherwise, he may end up hating or resenting you for it.

 

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Of course, you cannot afford it if your parent will feel remorseful against you. Hence, you may end up becoming the bad guy in the family. What is essential is to connect with your parent regardless of your hectic schedule. Keep in your mind that he may not be around for long in your life.

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Make Phone Calls

 

If your aging parent leaves away from you, especially if he is staying in a nursing home, the least that you could do is to make regular phone calls to him. Never give him an idea to start thinking that you have abandoned him. It will surely crush his heart into tiny little pieces. Instead, connect to him in another way.

 

Consider yourself lucky because nowadays, you can already enjoy the various advancements in technology. Pick up your cellphone today and dial the number of your beloved parent. He will surely be happy to receive a call from you.

 

Be A Good Listener

 

Many people make the mistake of thinking that communication involves talking and speaking only. What they do not know is that it also covers listening. When talking to your parent, be sure to practice the art of listening thoroughly to the other person. As already mentioned above, there is a high chance that you will suffer from a severe illness if you do not calm down.

 

For every conversation that you have, make sure to show him that you are listening to what he is saying. As such, do not hesitate to ask questions or clarifications from him. It will make him feel validated knowing that you are listening to him even if you are already an adult.

 

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Choose The Topics

 

As much as possible, avoid talks or topics that can put spark an argument between you and your parent. For example, do not raise money talks if your beloved parent is not comfortable discussing it. He may be suffering from a financial loss and talking about it will break his heart. If there are sensitive topics to discuss, maybe the smart thing to do is to check whether he is in a good mood to talk or not.

 

The safe topics can include updates about his grandchildren or his favorite movies and TV shows that he now enjoys watching. Make sure to put this in mind so that you can prevent hurting the feelings or emotions of your parent.

 

Conclusion

 

Senior parents may be challenging to deal with, but everything is easy if you know how to do the things mentioned above. Remember that the basic foundation of any relationship to parents is respect. Just because your parent is already aging does not give you the right to feel like you are already above them. Show respect to an aging parent by following his requests. Follow the effective communication tips mentioned above for more clients. “Talking with your parents about tough issues is not easy. But if approached the right way, it can strengthen and enrich your relationship with each other and be a tender way of expressing your love and care for them,” says GARY GILLES, LCPC.

 

Psychology 101: What Elderly Parents Want From Their Kids

I just witnessed a verbal match erupt between my 50-year-old father and his mother who is 70 years old. My dad found out that grandma goes out every day at four o’clock in the morning to go to an alternative medicine center that’s 30 minutes away from her house. It should be okay because she has friends there, but she also has been commuting on her own, keeping it a secret from all her children, which is what worries everyone.

My grandmother, on the other hand, accepted that it was indeed a crazy behavior on her part. What she could not take, though, was how she got “reprimanded like a kid” by her son. So they stopped talking to each other for a week or so until my dad finally went to her home to apologize and patch things up between them.

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The Truth

Although all is well now in my family – and grandma only leaves her house when the sun is up – it is a typical representation of what happens when a child and parent switch roles later in life. The minder is suddenly the former, and the latter is supposed to listen because the adult son or daughter should know better. “Underscoring this task and coloring most of these factors is the emotional reality that caring for an aging parent is a psychological journey,” shares Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP.

What the kids often forget, unfortunately, is that elderlies become more sensitive by the day. You need to practice caution, primarily when you want to correct their ways without saddening or making them angry. Otherwise, both of you might drop words you can’t take back and ruin your relationship.

In case you don’t understand the psychology of senior citizens, allows us to tell you the things that elderly parents want from their kids. According to Rick Nauert PhD, “Emerging studies have shown that both adult children and their aging parents identify stubbornness in the parents as a significant issue.”

Source: defense.gov
  1. Respect

No matter how your salary goes to your old mom or dad’s needs, you do not have the entitlement to talk back to them at any age. You may be a boss at your office, your word may be the law in your home, but you will always be the child whom they raised and helped to get where you are now. So, please stay respectful to your parents.  Steven Zarit, Ph.D.,distinguished professor of human development and family studies at Pennsylvania State University, explains that “elders struggle for independence as they try to maintain the life they had and the people they were.”

  1. Time

The elders have given you the means to reach your dreams, and they are the first individuals to cheer you on as you conquer the world. But regardless of the places you need to go to or the people you have to meet, it is only proper to spend a few hours with your mother and father once a week. While they may not burden you with calls and texts, they undoubtedly want to see their kid from time to time.

  1. Space

Considering you are often in their case, however, you need to take one step back a little. As much as parents appreciate your concern to them, it can boost their confidence and physical strength to know that they can do some things without anyone’s help. It may be better, therefore, to solely lend a hand in situations wherein the seniors may undeniably require assistance, namely fixing a leak on the ceiling, driving for hundreds of miles, et cetera.

  1. Love

Of course, your parents want to receive love from their dearest sons and daughters too. Despite how busy your days may be, it will not hurt to show small signs of affection to them. Say, take the elders out to their favorite restaurant or find the tools they can use for their hobbies.

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More than the money you can provide for their financial needs, your senior parents want to gain your respect, time, love, and trust that their old age does not entail that they cannot do anything useful in life. If life is difficult for you now that you are in the workforce, it can also be a challenge for elderlies who cannot get a job and have to rely on you and the government to continue living. Thus, let’s treat our aging parents more kindly than ever.

Fun Things To Do With A Senior Mom

Do you want to make your elderly mother happy? Are you interested in spending some quality time with her? Is it essential for you to make every moment count? There are related posts in https://lacamasmedicalgroup.com/. Well luckily, there are many things that you can do to cheer them up. These activities are proven to be enjoyable and fun for everyone. Check the list below:

 

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What Not To Tell Your Aging Parents

A recent study shows that seniors are more sensitive to those who belong to the younger generation. According to the study, as a person grows old, he becomes easily affected by all the things he hears as well as the other issues that come his way. Because of this, everyone is reminded to be more careful when it comes to dealing with an old individual. According to psychologist Azadeh Aalai, “In regards to my own father, in order to maintain a relationship with him I have had to alter my expectations regarding what to expect from him.”

 

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How To Prepare for Parental Care

 

If there is something that is inevitable to happen in every family, it is the fact that parents will always grow old. You cannot do anything to prevent it from happening. Because of this, it is highly recommended that you take the proper steps on how to handle this kind of situation. The bright thing to do is to make the necessary preparations for the parental care. You can follow these steps:

source: bdwomenshealth.com

 

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Elderly Parents Are Separating: What Happens Next?

Nothing is more stressful than finding out that your elderly parents have decided to go separate ways. You may start to wonder why it took them so long to give up on their marriage. It is understandable that you are going through a painful phase in your life. However, it is essential for you to have an open mind about the situation so that you can deal with it the proper way. Counseling, such as with www.cornerstonecounseling.com/ is one of the ways to go through this. “Though nothing will completely ease the pain of the divorce, there are a few ways that divorcing parents can help their kids heal,” says family and marriage therapist Michelle Farris, LMFT. Below are also some the things that you could do when it comes to handling late-life divorce of parents:

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Discover What Parents Want To Receive From You

Caring for one’s elderly parents may be challenging, but it is also fulfilling at the same time. According to Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP, “Underscoring this task and coloring most of these factors is the emotional reality that caring for an aging parent is a psychological journey.” As long as you know how to do it the right way, everything will just fall into its proper place. There are few things that you have to take into consideration so that you can ultimately make your old parents happy. Always remember that your little efforts can be a significant factor in their recovery or for the improvement of their mental health.

 

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The Challenges Of Parental Care

 

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Caring for an old parent may bring up many challenges in your life. Not only is it medically challenging, in that what works healthwise for younger people usually should be modified for older people, and in that there is often no clear answer on what’s “right” medically (although geriatrics care points towards what’s usually “better”),” according to  Leslie Kernisan, MD MPH. This journey is not an easy thing to do, especially if you are not close to your mother or father. However, this does not mean that the situation is unbearable. There are many things that you could do to make things better for everyone. “No matter how you begin your caregiving role, you will have to make changes in your life,” says Carol Bradley Bursack.

In this article, we are going to discuss the top challenges of parental care. Knowing these challenges is necessary so that you will identify the best approach to solve them.

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